Oh, don't you love these companies that advertise computer training on the telly? Cerco caught my eye last night, and urged me to take their on-line test.

A few things occurred to me whilst taking the test, though:
- I've never heard of the IPX/XPX (sic) protocol.
- If my printer uses "continuous stationary" (still feeling sic), does that mean it's constantly standing still?
- I've been asked to choose between CD and CHDIR for the "change directory" command in DOS (yet both will work, of course).
- Apparently an IPv6 address comprises a certain number of "binary bits" - which, if my abbreviation expansion skills are still working, means they contain "binary binary digits". Pass the LED diodes, the FET transistors, and the PIN numbers please, someone.
- If I didn't know "Under what conditions is it possible to have two files called README.TXT on your PC running MS-DOS/Command Line operating systems" it would be time to hook up the hosepipe to the exhaust of my comms rack and end it all.

This really is just utterly dreadful. Why would I sign up for a course with a company whose online quiz seems to have been designed by a five-year-old, and which seems to have some kind of fetish for DOS and the inner workings of laser printers? Yet, apparently, it "could be your starting point for becoming an I.T. professional whose average salary is £37k".

In fact, the only thing I can say in favour of Cerco's online quiz is that I've filled in another of these on-line "tests" in the past and have discovered that even though I deliberately ticked all the wrong answers, I still scored about 70% ... as did everyone who took the test. At least Cerco only gives you points for the ones you actually get right - even though a vast number of the questions are about DOS commands and what a parallel/serial/USB port looks like.

Thankfully my score was sufficient that they recommended I take the "fast track" course. If you need a new job, why don't you try it too? Just go to http://quiz.cercotraining.co.uk/

If there's anyone from Cerco reading this, by the way ... I'd be delighted to spend a day or two on one of your courses and write a review, as I've done with the likes of Cisco and Bay/Nortel Networks. Just drop me an email at [email protected]