When I logged into a Terminal Services server I look after for a client just now, it told me that Java was ready to update itself. So I clicked "Update".
"The Java(TM) cannot be downloaded to your machine", it screamed at me, "You are located in an embargoed country".
Now, I realise that some people Down South might think that Chester (where this server lives) is a long way away, but from what I can tell it's still in the UK. So why is Java embargoed?
Mr. Google supplied the answer. It seems that when the updater tried to make the connection to its remote server, the firewall decided it wasn't on the "approved" list, and sent a "forbidden" response to the updater. For whatever reason, the people who wrote the updater forgot that connections might be blocked for reasons other than the client being in an unauthorised place, and simply chucked the "embargoed" message in as the catch-all error response.
So all I need to do now is track down the guy who maintains the firewall, and get him to move the server to a country where Java is allowed.