What's Cisco plotting?

The company has been dropping teasers for some weeks about an announcement that will "forever change the Internet" and at 3.00 this afternoon (Blighty time), the waiting will be over.

There hasn't been so much speculation about a company's plans since, ooh, about five weeks ago when it was Apple doing the teasing. And it's certainly whetted the stock market interest with a big rise in Cisco's share price before the announcement.

While there hasn't been quite so much press interest in Cisco's announcement as there was for the launch of the iPad, there's certainly plenty of anticipation of the event as people clear the diaries, skip lunch, miss vital anniversaries and block off all communication as they find time to listen to the latest missive from San Jose (... or not, as the case may be, I shall be meeting A10 Networks at the time when the webcast starts, although I'm sure there will be some people tuned in).

So, what's going to be about. There is plenty of speculation that's about wireless, specifcally LTE,  with the timing of Cisco's withdrawal from the WiMax space; there's a suggestion that it could be about optimising wireless space, musings about a set-top box, while Wall Street Journal suggests a blade server (not too radical a suggestion as that's been speculated about for months, but it's not a product that's going to change the Internet forever).

No, it has to be something truly radical and earth-shattering - all those guesses are far too conservative. How about Cisco has discovered a way to use the central nervous system to transmit the IP protocol? This wil mean that future Internet use doesn't require any hardware device or connectivity (with the downside that Cisco will own your cerebral cortex).

Perhaps the company has developed Telepresence one stage further and has introduced teleportal, transmitting videoconference attendees, Willie Wonka style, to the other side of the globe? Or maybe Cisco is merging with Google and will actually own the Internet.

Personally, I think it has to be more radical than that. At 3.00 this afternoon, the Cisco management team will step out of their human form and will reveal themselves to be Slitheens  poised to take over the Earth, the Internet has been acting as a global energy channel for them for the past 20 years and the time is ripe to take over. John Chambers, the head Slitheen, will personally overpower Barack Obama and take control of the world - and with dr Who being between two series, there'll be no-one to stop him.

...OK it probably will be a box of some sort (sigh).

Follow Maxwell on Twitter @maxcooter