2. The iCar (or iPod Mobile)
The Apple-designed car looks like a giant bubble, much like some of the original Volkswagen Beetle cars, but Apple has streamlined it even further. The car will be clear plastic and glass, so other drivers can see how cool you look inside the iCar. There's no steering wheel (you navigate by tapping the touch-screen windshield to go left, right, forward or reverse). One downside: The electric car will have to connect to iTunes and the universal connecting port (no USB) in order to recharge.
3. Apple Jobs cereal
Our sources in the cereal biz have revealed Apple's plans to take over the existing Apple Jacks brand name and replace it with little Apple logos. The theme song has already been created: "A is for Apple, J is for Jobs. You'll love it so much you'll eat gobs!".
4. iPop soda and sugary drinks
Apple is finally branding the Kool Aid that they've been serving up to Apple fanboys at their dog and pony shows, but they're also going to be moving into the soda market with iPop. There's only one flavour of iPop soda: Magical, which we can't really describe (sort of like the iPad). One problem. You can't open the can yourself, you have to go to the Apple Store and have a Genius open the can for you.
Apple's plans to take over the fashion industry involve simplifying everything. Stevewear is a complete line of black turtlenecks and blue jeans, emphasising wearer usability and ease of use over function.
6. Apple-Mees Restaurant
Apple plans to create the trendiest restaurants ever. Before you can get into an Apple-Mees, you have to camp out for a few days with other Apple-Mees fans, and you have to notify the local media about your excitement at being in line. Once you get into the restaurant, you can order some App-etizers for $0.99 per item, or you can try a free sample. Unfortunately, all food items need to be approved by Apple in advanced, which means no spicy apps.
The iWasher has one setting only. It turns all of your dirty clothes black (the Jobs setting). The iFridge finally gets us the dream of refrigerators with Internet connectivity, but unfortunately it would be 3G wireless through AT&T, so customers would have to move the refrigerator out of any in-home dead zones.
ShareTwitter Facebook Google Plus
Recommended for youTablet operating systems - Six alternatives to iOS and Android 7 cool uses of beacons you may not expect
Meet the next wave of UK startups working with artificial intelligence and machine learning technology
We've listed the best tech events happening next week
Marc Rogers is a cybersecurity consultant for Mr Robot, and he's fearful of the political response to hacking in film