I've received two press releases mentioning formula one racing, both from disk suppliers, and both leaving me totally underwhelmed.

EMC says that Toshiba Motorsport GmbH is a customer for its managed storage services offering. A Tosh Motorsport spokesperson, Thomas Schiller, GM for IT, said: "With EMC’s help, we are cutting costs while achieving greater efficiency and data availability across our information infrastructure. EMC offered us expert service and a consultative relationship that allows us to focus more of our energy on the challenge that is the F1 series.”

This oily prose is so slick and has such high verbal viscosity it could be poured straight into a racing car engine. Poor old Tosh Racing; it was losing out in Formula 1 because too much of its energy was focused on its IT storage problems. Now EMC will help it to win! Stand aside Renault. Back to Italy Ferrari. Tosh is going to reign supreme - all because of EMC.

But gosh, Tosh, wait a minute. Honda has a surprise in store for you. Because Nexsan says the Honda Racing F1 Team is a customer for its SATABeast arrays.

Here we have an oleagenous supporting quote too; David France, IT Director for the Honda F1 crew, said: "In the world of Formula One, success is as much about having the best in the back room as it is about being the best in the driving seat. It follows that our storage must also be the best. The SATABeast plays a mighty role in storing our valuable data in such a high-pressure environment."

Yes, indeed, I am sure that David France really thought and wrote this himself with absolutely no help from a BP Multigrade oil-drenched PR rent-a-quote spokesperson.

"It follows that our storage must also be the best" - oh, purleaze.
"A mighty role" - kick me someone, I'm on the wrong planet.

Nexsan's own spokesperson added yet more grease to this oily tosh; Brendan Kinkade, marketing VP, said: "Nexsan's SATABeast is able to provide plenty of (the) speed and muscle that the Honda Racing F1 Team required."

Right. It's not that Ferrari has Michael Schumacher or Renault has Alonso in the car driving seat; what counts just as much as the driver is the disk storage in the factory.

I don't know why the suppliers bother. Maybe customers will be impressed and gladly go to F1 events on corporate visits. The sales guys will be impressed too, something for them to take their accounts to and share in the glamour that is Formula 1.

But, really, get real. Did Honda and Tosh pay customer street prices for this kit? Was the supply of the kit totally unaffected by the opportunity to stick EMC and Nexsan logos on the world's most expensive advertising surfaces?

These are not customer sales as we understand them. They are more akin to sponsorship deals. Most people will realise that they can have no credibility as real customer sales deals at all.

On that note, Happy Easter.