Bill Gates is said to want to follow ex-Microfti Charles Simonyi into space. It seems he'll get a better Vista there.

Legions of Windows users, contemplating the likely hard core encouragement from Microsoft to dump XP and move to the vastly bloated, slower, and multi-versioned Vista, will be wishing they could go too. I reckon the Vista marketeers went into Starbucks, saw the armchairs and coffee versions and happy customers lounging around there and thought: "Why not?"

So we got Windows a la Starbucks:

Vista Mocha Latte Double Expresso - Windows Vista Ultimate is the choice for those who want to have it all. Never leave your PC cup of coffee - ever. Easily shift between the worlds of productivity and play with the most complete edition of Windows Vista. Ultimate provides the power, security, and mobility features needed for work, and all the entertainment features that you want for fun.

Vista Dulce de Leche Latte and Frappuccino blended coffee - Vista Home Premium is the preferred edition for home desktop and mobile cups of coffee. It provides a breakthrough design that brings your world into sharper focus while delivering the productivity, entertainment, and security you need from your cup of coffee at home or on the go.

Vista Decaf Coffee - Vista Home Basic is ideal for homes with basic computing needs like e-mail, browsing the Internet, viewing photos and making your own coffee. Microsoft provides the hot water. You then pay extra to get coffee, milk, sugar, a cup and a spoon. Easy to set up and maintain, it enables you to quickly find what you're looking for in your coffee and the Internet, while providing a more secure environment to help protect you from an unpredictable world.

(Security alert: coffee criminals stalk Starbucks putting foul-tasting bugs into mugs of Vista coffee)

Vista Starbucks coffee machine - Vista Business is the first edition of Windows designed specifically to meet the coffee needs of small businesses. You'll spend less time on technology support-related issues—so you can spend more time at the coffee machine making your business successful. Windows Vista Business is the definitive choice for your business coffee needs today and tomorrow.

Your very own Starbucks lounge - Vista Enterprise is designed to significantly lower IT costs and risks. Windows Vista Enterprise meets the needs of large, global organizations with complex IT infrastructures. Have your own, complete, total Vista Starbucks experience inside your business.

Wake up out there!

Smell the Vista coffee!!!!