Femtocells, nothing! Now, ip.access has a pocket-sized attocell, which takes cheap coverage everywhere. Or wait...

Attocells create a "person-sized 3G cell that you can carry around with you." according to a release that popped out of nowhere onto femto-maker ip.access's site today. These fabulous gizmos can even make an iPhone 3G-capable, and share a signal with other users - generating a credit on your mobile bill when they use it to make a call.

And there's even an Atto Forum you can join - I understand the fees are sub-microscopic.

As usual, of course, analyst Dean Bubley pours cold water on the idea: “People will be confused about their bills,” he points out. “What if I make a call on the attocell and then the attachment falls off the phone and my call continues on the macro network? Will I still be billed at attocell rates?”

And there are big market projections - again, as per usual - from analyst Carrot Stulaw of AIB Research. Oh, hang on. Wait a minute, we all know he's really Stuey Coleslaw of MIA Research. Nice joke, guys!