There's a very useful government Web site, http://www.bluelight.gov.uk. It's a portal on which the UK's emergency services post invitations to tender for work, from catering to IT projects. And it's got a fascinating section in the bit where you sign up as a potential supplier.

As you'd expect, you're asked for a bunch of sensible stuff like your company name, contact details and whatnot. The amusing bit is where you get to pick a "classification" for your business, which is a list of tickboxes that you click as appropriate.

Some are pretty simple - for instance I ticked "Business has less than 250 full time equivalent employees" (even though it should say "fewer", not "less") and "Business has turnover less than £34.3M" (34.3? That's a bit precise!). And I couldn't tick "Social Enterprise Partnership" or "Community Interest Companies (CIC)".

But there are some cracking ones that make me wonder: why on earth do they want to know this? Okay, I can understand there being an interest in knowing the ethnicity of your suppliers (hence the presence of "Black and Minority Ethnic Organisations (BME)"). But the one that made me smile was: "Business owned by Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay or Transsexual". If anyone can suggest why on earth they care, I'd be fascinated to know.

I'm feeling a bit hurt, actually. There isn't a box labelled "Follicly challenged, portly, tallish guy from Norfolk" ...